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Date Protocol: How to NOT Screw it up

Posted on March 28, 2017September 17, 2019 by Gene

I have dated..A lot. I have had Platinum success, near misses and thermonuclear explosions, What I can tell you is that the result of each dating experience came down to mismanaged expectations and misunderstood Date Protocols. While this blog cannot help with mismanaged expectations (I’m talking to you, guy who brings 23 dozen roses to a 1st date), it can, and should, help get two people dating on the same field of play.

Let me start with a couple of definitions. When I say date, I am talking about the meeting of two people. I am not talking about the following:
1. An existential experience;
2. A relationship Status;
3. A state of One’s social existence;
4. Any romantic notions derived from over-watched Nick Sparks.

Let me get on with it. These are the Date Protocols according to Me. A word of caution, These dates should be performed in the order given, should not be shuffled, and should not be skipped. It is not uncommon for repeats, do overs, or try agains. You might find yourself repeating a date before moving on to the next.


Coffee Date. The first date should be a meet up at a coffee shop. Nowhere else. A coffee shop offers better management of time. A Coffee Date can last a few minutes, or a couple hours. All of which is acceptable. A Coffee Date offers an exit strategy. It is easier to walk/storm/saunter out of a coffee shop, than to leave in the middle of a full on dinner date. Coffee Dates are cheap. A Coffee Date relieves the man of feeling “Owed” and relieves the woman of the feeling of obligation.


Restaurant Date.  the second date should be at a middle tier restaurant. Think Applebee’s, but classier. The Restaurant Date offers the man the opportunity to flex his financial stability/independence without looking like an over-compensating schmuck. The Restaurant Date offers the woman the opportunity to go dutch, without breaking the bank. The Restaurant Date is a slightly higher requires greater social, emotional and financial committments. But both people should be fairly confidant that the other person is not Catfishing/Golddigging/Trolling.


Homecook Date. The third date should be a homecooked meal served by the person assuming the female gender role. The Homecook Date should allow the woman to show off her cooking skills. After all, the way to a man heart, truly is through his stomach. Also, the Homecook Date shows the man that the woman’s interest is not purely material. It should not be ignored that most couples anticipate intimacy on the third date, the Homecook Date provides the space for such shinanigans.


Man-cave Date. The fourth date should be an order-in (Pizza) date at the home of the man. By this time, a woman should feel comfortable enough with the man to enter his home with little trepidation. The Man-Cave Date offers the woman an opportunity to review the male’s home, and confirm his cleanliness, stability, and fidelity. It offers for both, the opportunity to see each other in their most comfortable habits. This is the Netflix and Chill date…In case you didn’t pickup on that.


Sleepover Date. By the fifth date, both people should be fairly comfortable with each other. Plan a sleepover. Learn each other’s evening rituals. observe each other’s sleeping patterns and habit. And, learn each other’s morning routine. Does he wear a retainer? Is she an early riser, even on the weekend? Is there a Snorer?


Weekender Date. By the sixth date, you should be planning a weekend getaway. The Weekender Date is a close quarters date that is designed to test the couples ability to be around each other for more than a few waking hours. The Weekender Date should be far enough away as to impede either person from arbitrarily going home. But, it should be close enough for either person to get out if the relationship truly is sour.

And, there you have it. Six dates that should spell out what two people on a voyage of romance should be doing and expecting.

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