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Spring Has Not Sprung

Posted on March 22, 2018September 17, 2019 by Gene


Did you know that the Spring Equinox officially sprang on March 20th? This may not be obvious because…Winter. That’s right, Mister School-Closure, Icy-Beltway and Snowday-turned-Telework continues to be the Season De Jure.

I would like to think that I don’t mind, because I was raised in Chicago. The reality is, however, that the DMV has made me soft. Pillow soft. Mai Tai in San Diego with a Security Blanket soft. Last year I went to Chicago for Christmas, where the average temp was 10 degrees. I dang near froze to death. I have not been the same sense. I stay cold. Now, I have a Support Monkey trained to retrieve ice out the freezer. (That’s not true. My Support Monkey hates ice).

Right now, I’m looking out the window at the snow fall. As I find myself mesmerized by the relentless cascade of beauty, I am reminded of a few rules about living in the DMV:

First, never go to the grocery store on the day before a predicted weather event. It is like Zombie-Apocalypse meets Mad Max, and bottled water is more precious than gold.

Second, do not brag to your friends across town about having power, because the moment you do, you’re living on candles, blankets, and that bottled water you cherish so much.

Third, the DMV is not cut out for snow storms. So, unless you drive an All-Wheel, Any-Weather, All Terrain Armored Transport (Star Wars), you ain’t going anywhere. Not until your county decides to clear your sub-division. Which will not happen until next September.

Lastly, kiss whatever Blarney Stone you believe in for living in the DMV. There are few places that rack up so many unique weather and natural disaster events to boast about. And even fewer that give blanket time off for any day that falls outside of the range of  30 – 90 degrees with no cloud cover.

Overall, the DMV in the winter is great. Snow Angles and Hot Totties, Ice Rinks and Snow Days, Telework and Time off. Call me sentimental, but I love Snowmaggedon.

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